Fully Grateful

"This Thanksgiving, from this day forward, my goal is to remain

'Fully Grateful'."

The American spiritual teacher, former academic and clinical psychologist, Ram Dass, once wrote, "Our journey is about being more deeply involved in life, and yet, less attached to it." I have been thinking about this simple sentence for the past few weeks in connection with my belief that being present is the only moment that matters, so this Thanksgiving while my stomach was telling me that I was way too full, I decided to make a Thanksgiving resolution to remain fully grateful every day going forward.

I realize that this will not be an easy task to accomplish, but nothing in life worth achieving ever comes without some difficulties along the way. If everything in life were easy, individuals and society as a whole would stop learning from our mistakes and progress would halt. (I do my best to apply this concept to tRump and this, of course, is certainly not without difficulty, but, hopefully, tRump's foolishness will wake up a lot of people to their mistake during the 2016 election, and with his eventual replacement, society will progress at a much more rapid pace.)

If you have been following this blog then you already know that for the past 24 months my life has been swallowed up by difficulties, challenges and health crises. The list below is by no means all-inclusive,  but it is instead intended to be a list of some of the low points, and how I am trying to turn these negatives into positives. By identifying positives amongst the negatives, I hope to find my path to being fully grateful for the past 24 months.

Relying on the Tony Robbins quote above, I believe that the better we become at achieving a state of being Fully Grateful, the faster our fears will melt away and eventually completely subside.

12 Negatives of the Past 24 Months that I Have Found a Way for which to be Grateful

1. Chemotherapy, while at times making me desperately ill, has made me realize that I am far too independent and allowing people into my life to help at times is not a bad thing. For this, I am fully grateful.
2. Cancer, in general, has reminded me how much I have left in life that I want to accomplish, and it is helping me learn ways to combat procrastination.
3. My attempts to race to a bathroom during my treatment before I had an accident in public all the while trying to maintain a facade of normalcy has taught me to slow down when dealing with others and remember that everyone is always going through something.
4. I am fully grateful for my Mother because, although at times interacting with her is tedious and irritating, our relationship constantly reminds me to practice patience and that patience is, indeed, a virtue.
5. When I have those times that I need to sport my Adult Depends Underwear for Men, I no longer worry about what others may be thinking about me. This is a great relief from the pressures of my mind, and I am fully grateful for being reminded of this life lesson.
6. Many of my friends inundated me with their own ideas of how I should proceed with my cancer treatment to the point that, at times, I wanted to bitch slap them. How utterly and fully grateful I am to have great friends that I may bitchslap if need be.
7. At the time this blog was planned, it was intended to cover the run-up to the 2018 Mid-term Elections, but cancer and its treatment intervened, and, at first, caused the complete cancellation of Pinky Penmark Blogs. My trials and tribulations throughout treatment quickly led me back to journaling which led to a new focus and relaunch for Pinky Penmark Blogs, and I am fully grateful that cancer caused me to rediscover my passion for writing.
8. I am fully grateful for my stalker because he has reminded how strong I can be when facing adversity. While my confidence was destroyed during the ordeal, it is rebounding even stronger than before the ordeal began.
9. Last Christmas, I was so ill that my Mother and I hardly celebrated Christmas and many of our annual holiday traditions went by the wayside. I am fully grateful for missing last Christmas because it reminded me how important the holidays are to us, and this Christmas we will have the opportunity to make them more loud, more fun and more meaningful than ever.
10. I am fully grateful that I was driven to what I thought was the brink of insanity so that I realized the power of the mind and the resiliency of the human spirit.
11. I am fully grateful that cancer and near insanity illuminated for me who my true friends are and also showed me that many around me whom I thought was my friend were merely just part of the sideshow and only cared about what they could get from me or achieve through me.
12. What I said about tRump earlier in this entry. I am even finding a way to be grateful for the orangutan, but I am not so grateful for him that I am able to type it again, so please refer back to paragraph 2.

Making this list of things that were so difficult for me during the moment but that actually ended up allowing me the opportunity to grow was far easier than I anticipated that it would be. It has also left me in a state of extreme gratitude and fully grateful. This holiday season you may consider making a similar list for yourselves, and I believe that you will be pleasantly surprised how quickly you become fully grateful for every moment, not just the good ones, in your life.

Happy Holidays!

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